Scott Pilgrim vs Hollywood!
by TrixieStixs
Summary: E350 contest entry, based on the line "BUT THEN THERE WERE ROBOTS". If you want to read it, I'm not going to stop you. Be warned though, poorly executed humor inside.


**Scott Pilgrim v.s Hollywood**

**By: TrixieStixs **

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"**Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto" Styx- "Mr. Roboto"**

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"It was sure nice of Luke Wilson to give us these movie premiere tickets." A twenty something year old with messy brown hair said with a child like grin. The man was wearing a blue parka that was unzipped, under the parka you could make out a yellow shirt that had 'Plumtree' written in red text; with a crack running along the bottom of the said text. He also seemed to be wearing white wristbands, which seemed out of place considering the man's age. He then looked over at the other two individuals he was walking down the street with, one was a woman, the other a man in a striped polo shirt.

The man in a striped polo shirt causally added, "Scott, how many times do I have to tell you, his name is Lucas Lee. Secondly, he really didn't have a choice considering he exploded into a bunch of coins. And finally, I personally would rather watch paint dry then this so called _movie._"

"You don't have the be such a downer Wallace," Scott Pilgrim whined with a sad face before continuing, "I really want to see it."

The girl then spoke up, "Scott… it's 'Robots and Explosions 3!'. This movie is going to be horrible, just like the first two." The girl's name was Ramona V. Flowers she had long dark blue hair that went just past her shoulders, she had a really pretty face and a nice figure. By all accounts, she was way out of Scott's league. But, considering that Scott had defeated her seven evil ex's, he had earned the right to date her. (If you're confused by all this then you should stop being a lazy asshole and find the comic book these characters are in, and read them!). Ramona then went on to say, "Besides, you didn't even like the first two movies!"

"I've never said that!" Scott exclaimed.

**-Cue Flashback-**

Scott Pilgrim, Wallace Wells, and Ramona all walk out of a theater. On the top of the theater you can see the words 'Robots and Explosions 2!'. Scott then angrily says, "That was such a waste of time!"

**-Cue Flashback in Flashback-**

Scott Pilgrim, Wallace Wells, and Ramona all walk out of a theater. On the top of the theater you can see the words 'Robots and Explosions!'. Scott then angrily says, "That was such a waste of time!"

**-End Flashbacks-**

"I'm not even going to respond to that," Wallace said as he shook his head in astonishment at how dull his friend and former roommate was.

"But come on guys, it has ROBOTS!… and EXPLOSIONS!" Scott Pilgrim said in giddy excitement.

"But Scott, all of Mechanical Bay's movies have robots and explosions in them." Ramona added.

"_Robot Harbor_ and _Robogedden_, are you seeing a pattern here?" Wallace continued, adding to the point Ramona had brought up.

"I am!" Ramona grinned, "They all suck!"

"Well, at least its free!" Scott said as he held up the three movie tickets. Wallace and Ramona just shrugged as they continued to walk towards their destination.

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Meanwhile in Dimmsdale…

Timmy Turner laid on his twin size bed, bored out of his mind, with nothing to do. This was a surprise, considering he had three magical beings that could grant him anything he desired, well almost anything his heart desired. One thing that even magic couldn't give him was something everyone desires, love. Timmy was in love with the most popular girl in all of Dimmsdale. Her name was Trixie Tang; to most people she was a uptight, cruel, and selfish. But Timmy knew her better then anyone else, for he knew that Trixie had a hidden tomboyish side that she told no one else about. Timmy came across this information on accident by making one of his many wishes to try and win the Asian girl's heart. No matter how hard he tried it seemed that Trixie Tang's love was always just out of reach.

"What's wrong Timmy?" Cosmo asked Timmy. Cosmo was one of his magical beings, better know as fairy godparents. Cosmo had green hair and eyes, he wasn't the brightest person, to put it gently, but he had a big heart.

"I'm just really bored," Timmy answered as he stared at the ceiling.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Wanda then asked as she held her child in her hand.

"I want to go see 'Robots and Explosions 3!' in Canada." Exclaimed Timmy randomly.

"Why do you even want to see that movie? I heard the first two were utter abominations to the film industry." Wanda asked in shock.

"I don't know…" Timmy responded shaking before continuing, "It's almost like some outside force is controlling my thoughts, making me want to see this horrible movie, for some lame plot device."

"Well we better keep this story moving along then," Cosmo said as he 'poofed' Timmy to Canada without a second thought. Upon seeing this Wanda gave Cosmo an evil glare, Cosmo then responded with a simple, "What?"

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BACK IN CANDA!… (Please note, you must read this in the most epic voice you can muster up.)

Scott, Wallace, and Ramona were at the movie premiere when they saw a skinny, almost emaciated, young man being thrown out of the V.I.P section. The young man was screaming expletives as he was being thrown out into the theater's lobby. The man had jet black hair, it was short and uncombed. He had had tan skin, he was also wearing a painfully ordinary outfit, jeans and a random T-shirt. Scott then went up to the stranger and asked, "What's the matter man?"

The stranger then responded in an irritated tone, not looking at who asked the question, " It's this hack Mechanical Bay! I mean he is a horrible director, he didn't listen when I told him about how bad 'Robots and Explosions 3' was. I mean I didn't waste a hundred thousand dollars on film school for this hack to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't even know why he hired me as an adviser. He doesn't listen to advice! Plus, that's not even the worst part. Now he is going to ruin the comic book I love."

"Man, that does totally suck." Ramona responded after the stranger was done ranting.

The stranger then looked over and gasped before blurting out, "OH MY GOD! You're Scott Pilgrim! I've read all the books on your precious little life."

Scott then smiled and answered with a chuckle, "Yeah, I'm Scott Pilgrim. I didn't know people actually read those things."

The stranger then pointed at the other two individuals that stood next to Scott, "And you two are Wallace and Ramona! I can't believe this! I'm such a big fan, every time I read those books I get a funny feeling… in my pants."

"Whoa, to much information dude," Ramona said in her usual cool and calm voice.

"Aw," Wallace moaned, "I found it adorable!" Wallace finished as he rubbed the top of the stranger's head. (Disclaimer: Wallace Wells is in fact gay! I mean… he is really gay. This is not some stupid fan fiction thing when some writer makes a character gay for no apparent reason. As stated earlier… read the damn books!)

Scott then asked, "So what's your name man?"

The stranger then pointed at Scott, smiled, and answered, "The name's Mario," (He is totally not a Mary Sue!) (Don't listen to that last note… he _totally _is a Mary Sue, damn OC's!)

"Well, glad to meet you man," Scott said as he put his right hand out for Mario to shake. As the young man shook his hand Scott's eyes wondered, something that happened way to often for a man of his age. His eyes caught the weird sight of a ten year old boy appearing, seemingly out of nowhere, in a cloud of green smoke. After seeing this Scott then asked in confusion, "Did you guys see that? That kid over there appeared out of nowhere!"

"Scott, he's probably just an American and used subspace." Ramona said as she grabbed her easily distracted boyfriend's hand.

"Can all Americans use subspace?" Scott then asked.

"Pretty much," Ramona shrugged as her and Scott's fingers intertwined. (Disclaimer: If you don't know what subspace is… you can't use subspace!)

"Hay kid!" Scott then yelled at the young boy.

Timmy, after getting yelled at, then preceded to look around before pointing at himself and asking, "Who? Me?"

Scott then just nodded and motioned him to come over to where they were at with the hand Ramona wasn't holding. Timmy then slowly walked over to where the young adults were standing, before nervously asking, "Yeah?"

"Hay man where are you from?" Scott asked the young bucktoothed boy with a grin.

"Ugh, Dimmsdale California," the young boy responded uncomfortably.

"See Scott, he is from America, now leave the poor kid alone. Besides, his big buckteeth are scaring me. It's almost as if there is a beaver in his mouth fighting to get out." Ramona said as she had a look of disgust as she said the last part of that statement.

"You do know I'm standing right in front of you guys right." Timmy said with a look of contempt, for he really was standing right in front of them.

"What's your name little man? Mine's Scott Pilgrim." Scott asked the youngster as he put his free hand up for Timmy to shake; for Ramona was still holding his other.

"Timmy Turner," the boy responded as he shook Scott's hand finishing the exchange between the two of them.

Mario then broke the seemingly pointless conversation between the two individuals that existed in two completely different fandoms, and happened to be meeting for no apparent reason , by telling Scott, "Sorry to interrupt, but, my favorite comic book that Mechanical Bay is going to ruin. Well, it's the comic book about your life Scott!"

Everyone gasped, even Timmy, who should have had no idea on what was going on. Regardless, it was very shocking and disturbing news. Wallace was the first one to speak, "How can he do such a thing! I mean… he is going to ruins Scott's life, more then it already is!"

"He must be stopped!" Ramona said dramatically, which was slightly out of character of her.

"But how will we get to Mr. Bay? His security is top notch!" Mario asked, worried that they would not be able to complete the seemingly impossible task. Mario then pointed at the huge security guards that were blocking the V.I.P area of the movie theater before continuing, "And how are we supposed to get past those guys?"

"I've got a plan," Wallace answered with a sly smile.

After a poorly executed plan that involved fake mustaches, we next see the gang in the coveted V.I.P room. The room itself was a gorgeous display of architectural brilliance, with giant beautiful pillars, wondrous archways, and fantastic vaulted ceilings. To be quite honest, it was a little out of place in the small movie theater. Everyone was in wonder, except for Mario, and after a few seconds Ramona took off her fake mustache and asked, "So now what?"

"We find the man that's trying to ruin my precious little life!" Scott said with a look of determination on his face.

Timmy was at a loss of words seeing the young adult, for Timmy himself had done amazing things in his eleven years off his life. He had saved the world countless numbers of times, but not once had he just been a bystander. It was an amazing feeling watching someone else do something amazing. It put things into perspective, and brought a new found insight on how important what he was doing really was. As he looked at Scott Pilgrim in amazement he one day hoped he that when he was Scott's age, he would be just as capable at handling a seemingly impossible task.

"Come, this way," Mario said as he lead the group to Mechanical Bay's privet room. Mario then continued as the group made their way up a flight of stairs, "This isn't going to be easy guys. Are you sure you can handle it?"

"I've handled a lot worse," Scott replied almost at the top of the stairs.

"He really has," Wallace agreed, they were now at the top of the stairway. They soon found themselves in front of a door that had a elegant nameplate in the center that read, 'Mr. Bay' Wallace then asked, "Are you guys ready for this?"

"I was born ready!" Scott said confidently.

"Scott… you were born two weeks late. That hardly classifies as ready dude!" Ramona replied, bursting Scott's metaphoric bubble.

"Let's just get this poorly written story over with!" Wallace exclaimed as he opened the door that held the big baddy of this underwhelming one-shot.

"Mr. Pilgrim! I've been expecting you." Mechanical Bay said as he laughed evilly.

"Wait, how are _you_ expecting us?" Ramona asked, confused by this whole underdeveloped disgrace of a plot.

"I'm the one that gave you those tickets to come see this premiere. I mailed you the tickets but said they were sent by one of your now deceased evil ex's. I just can't believe you were dull enough to fall for it!" Mechanical Bay said, as the author tried to make this story somewhat make sense.

Wallace, Ramona, Mario, and even Timmy stared disappointedly at Scott Pilgrim as he defensively replied, "What?"

"Even _I'm _not dumb enough to fall for that!" Timmy exclaimed, for he to had fallen for lackluster evil plans.

"At this point, I'm not even surprised anymore," Wallace put his two cents in as he rolled his eyes.

"I just want to know why would you invite the only person that could stop you to your movie premiere?" Ramona brought up, ruining what little sense this plot was developing, much to the author's dismay.

"To dispose of you so I wouldn't have to hurdle through copy right laws of course! If I kill Scott Pilgrim, I can simply say that I made the story up by myself." Mechanical Bay laughed, his plan now fully revealed.

"Dude, there are like six comic books based on his life," Ramona spat back, now visibly mad at how lame this entire plot was.

"We both know no one reads those comics Ramona," Mechanical Bay informed the extremely attractive young adult.

"Enough talk, I've come here to defeat you for trying to ruin my precious little life," Scott said as he put his fists up after taking off his dark blue parka.

"If you want to fight me you first have to defeat my seven evil ex… film teachers!" Mechanical Bay yelled victoriously.

Seven random unimportant people stepped out, they where all wearing suits and ties. They all had an imposing figure, even more so because they were all wearing sunglasses.

Five ridiculously awesome ass kicking second later…

Scott stood coins from the fallen foes dropped to the ground like water on a rainy day. The only thing Scott said after that was, "Is that all you got?" A smirk plastered on his face.

"Whoa!" was the only sound Timmy could exhale from his mouth. Timmy, for the first time in his life, had seen an adult worth idolizing. It was an amazing feeling knowing that all adults weren't as lame as they were in Dimmsdale. Timmy then looked over to Wallace and asked, "Does this stuff happen all the time?"

"You really need to come to Canada more kid," Wallace simply answered as he took a sip from a coffee cup he had gotten out of nowhere. Wallace then continued with a smile, "It's just getting good!"

Mechanical Bay had a look of shock on his face as he said, "What? That plan went a lot better in my head… in any case, there is still plan B!" Mechanical Bay then clapped his hands together before continuing, "I forgot to mention who I was going to have play you in the movie adaptation Ramona," Bay finished with an evil grin.

"Who?" Ramona asked, honestly wanting to know.

"Megan Cox!" He answered, as no other then Megan Cox walked into the room. She looked exactly like Megan Fox, almost as if this 'Cox' version was a parody of her.

"You monster!" Ramona shouted before continuing, "She is the worst actress in the world! I mean the robots had more personality then her in the 'Robots and Explosions!' movies!"

"Well, if you have a problem with it, just try and stop us!" Mechanical Bay spat out at Ramona.

"Gladly," Scott answered for his girlfriend.

"What makes you think you can stop us?" Megan Cox said with no emotion. (Damn, this chick can't even act in book form!)

"Easy," Scott said before he and Ramona stood side by side equipping themselves with their trademark weapons. Scott pulling his flaming katana out of his chest, Ramona pulled out a giant hammer from her subspace bag. Scott then finished his thought by saying, "We have the power of love. When me and Ramona are together no force in the universe can stop us." As Scott finished that last statement he had a look of determination as he pointed the flaming katana at Mechanical Bay.

"He's right… for once," Ramona said with a smile right beside Scott, hammer in hand.

"We'll just see about that," Mr. Bay said with a scowl before grabbing a remote and pressing a button. A suit of armor then enveloped his entire body, except for his face, he then smiled at the two young lovers.

Megan Cox then pulled out a katana of her own, before motioning to Ramona and saying, "Bring it!" Unfortunately, she once again had no emotion when saying the statement, causing the heroes to moan in pain from her bad acting.

Obliging Megan Cox's taunt, Ramona rushed forward, she moved rather quickly considering how big the hammer she was holding was. Scott soon followed rushing towards Mechanical Bay and his poor man's 'Iron Man' armor. Ramona was first to reach her target as she took a swing at Ms. Cox who blocked it with her katana. Ramona then grinned and said to her, "Well, at least you can fight better then you can act!"

Megan had nothing to say, mostly because she couldn't think on her feet. (A skill that really good actors/actresses have!) So instead she just took a swing at Ramona's midsection, a move that Ramona easily dodged by jumping backwards. After dodging the attack Ramona then took a swing of her own.

Over on the other side of the room Scott had finally made it to where Mr. Bay was standing. He then jumped up and swung his flaming katana down at the evil Mr. Bay, who had seemed to block it with his arm. (Disclaimer: maybe I was wrong… this armor is legit!) Mr. Bay then just cockily said, "Is that all _you _got?"

That last statement irritated Scott, though he didn't have a comeback to it. (He was notoriously bad at giving comebacks… one last time, READ THE BOOKS!) So instead he just took another swing at this hack they called a director.

Meanwhile, Ramona seemed to have had her hands full fighting Megan Cox. Megan seemed to be a better fighter then she looked. The two females kept trading blows, though none were landing, except for on each others weapons, making a loud clinging noise as they did. As a matter of fact, the noises were so loud that they where making text versions of themselves appear. Which meant that every time Ramona's hammer and Megan's katana met **BING!**, **CRACK!**, and **WHAP! **were visibly coming off of the weapons as they met.

"This is amazing!" Timmy exclaimed as he watched the two lovers fight the forces of evil side by side.

Wallace then put his hand on Timmy and informed him that, "It's almost over though."

Wallace was right because not even a second after saying his last statement Ramona gave a devastating shot to the head. Causing the untalented young actress's head to fly across the room. To the surprise of everyone though she didn't turn into a bunch of coins. Upon further investigation it was discovered that she didn't turn into coins because, she was a robot. Ramona then smiled and said, "Well, at least we know why she sucks at acting!" The robot then shot sparks out of it's neck before falling over.

Scott then sweep kicked Mr. Bay causing him to fall onto his back, Scott then pointed the flaming katana at Mr. Bay's only weak point, his face, which was not covered by the armor suit. "Any last words?" Scott asked the evil director.

"No, but I will do this," Mechanical Bay laughed as he clapped his hands again.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, another Megan Cox robot appeared and had Ramona at knife point. The robot had a katana held up against Ramona's neck, Mechanical Bay then laughed and said, "So who's it going to be? Me… or your precious little girlfriend."

"Oh no!" Timmy said before looking over at Wallace and asking, "What's going to happen?" Timmy was nervous, for even though he had only spent a few hours with Scott and his friends, he had grown a deep bond with the young adults.

"I don't know," Wallace simply answered a worried look on his face. No one has used Ramona like this, he honestly didn't know what Scott was going to do.

Scott then threw his sword down at Mr. Bay's feet and answered the mad man, "Fine, you win… kill me. Just leave Ramona alone!"

"No," Ramona sadly said to herself before yelling at Scott, "Scott, don't do it! I'm not worth it." tears flowing down her young attractive face, at the thought of Scott dieing just to save her.

"Don't be silly Ramona, I'd do anything for you," Scott answered dropping down to his knees. Scott then began glowing as light outlined every inch of his body.

Timmy, with a look of shock on his face at what he was seeing, then asked Wallace, "Why is he glowing?"

"I think he's leveling up," Wallace answered the boy, a worried look still on his face.

"Leveling up?" Timmy asked confused by the answer.

Wallace then turned to Timmy and explained the situation, "Well, you see, Scott has the ability to become stronger, faster, intelligent, and willful." Wallace then looked back over to Scott before continuing, "The flaming katana for instance. Scott obtained that sword when he first told Ramona he loved her. I'm guessing that now that he is willing to give his life, in exchange for hers, he has leveled up again."

"So… do you think he is strong enough to stop Mechanical Bay?" Timmy then asked, starting to understand what was going on.

"I don't know," Wallace answered not even looking at the boy.

Mechanical Bay then stood up, laughing evilly, as he dusted himself off he order the other Megan Cox robot to, "Kill her anyway."

"NOOOO!" Scott screamed as he barrel rolled over to his sword. Scott quickly grabbed the sword, he could see the other Megan Cox robot pull back the katana she was holding, ready to decapitate Ramona. Throwing the sword he had just reacquired, in a desperation attempt to stop the robot, the sword flew through the air for what seemed like forever. The sword finally made contact with the other Megan Cox's robotic head, stopping the robot mid-swing. Scott then breathed a sigh of relief knowing now that the girl that he loved was safe, he then turned his attention to Mechanical Bay.

Mechanical Bay then put his hands up defensively before asking, "There isn't going to be a way to make you forget this whole thing, is there?"

Scott didn't even answer the evil director as a sword handle slowly protruded from his chest. Scott then slowly pulled the weapon out from his chest, this new flaming katana was longer then the last. His new 'love powered' sword even had a gold blade, and the flames were now a light pink color. Scott then swung the sword at Mechanical Bay, slicing him in half, even though he was still wearing his armor. Coins flew everywhere as the sword made contact with the now defeated director. Scott then ran over to Ramona, who was still on her knees, dropping to his knees he then grabbed her hands, looked into her eyes and said, "I love you Ramona, and I'd never let anything bad happen to you."

"Oh Scott…" Ramona responded, face still wet from crying, before leaning in and giving her boyfriend a loving and passionate kiss.

Timmy then turned to Wallace with a smile and said, "That was defiantly the coolest thing… I have ever seen!"

"You really need to come to Canada more kid," Wallace chuckled as the group then walked towards the two lovers.

Timmy was the first to talk to Scott, who was now standing and holding Ramona's hand, "Man, that was amazing! I hope one day I could do something half as awesome as what I've just saw."

"Well, I'm sure one day when you have this, you'll do something amazing too kid." Scott answered Timmy.

"What? His hand on my boob?" Ramona asked with a smile, for in fact, Scott's hand was totally on her left boob.

Scott, frowning, then took his hand off his girlfriend's boob and whined, "Why does that always happen?"

Everyone laughed until Wallace finally explained to Timmy, "I think what Scott is trying to tell you is, that one day you to will find someone you love. You'll be able to accomplish things you didn't even think were possible."

"What if I'm not strong enough? What if I fail them?" Timmy asked nervously, fearing that when the time came he wouldn't be ready.

"You'll be surprised how strong you become when you truly love someone." Wallace answered comforting Timmy, Timmy then just nodded at the answer.

"So now who is going to make the movie about my life?" Scott asked Mario who was silent up to this point.

Mario then smiled and answered, "We'll find someone worthy," (Edger Wright! Go see Scott Pilgrim V.S The World, August 13th! Declaimer: please note, release date may very depending on country…)

"So now what do you want to do?" Ramona asked Scott before kissing him on the cheek.

"I know!" Scott exclaimed.

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Scott Pilgrim, Wallace Wells, Ramona, and Timmy all walk out of a theater. On the top of the theater you can see the words 'Robots and Explosions 3!'. Scott then angrily says, "That was such a waste of time!" (Much like this story!)

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**A/N Well E350, I hope you enjoyed my contest entry! I might even reference it in "League of Super Awesome Teenagers!" hope it wasn't to confusing. I suggest reading those Scott Pilgrim books... they're LEGIT! **


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